dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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