Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
