I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
