Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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