Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
