Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
