I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
