your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
