4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
