All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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