We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
