Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
