how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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