Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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