I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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