If i come over, it means nothing
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
