Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
