it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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