Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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