My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
