I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
