nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
