Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
