lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
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