Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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