She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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