i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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