I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
