so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
