o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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