I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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