Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
