I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's Friday. Sex?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
