I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize