i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
