The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
