I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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