your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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