I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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