I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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