So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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