tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
