What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
