she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
