i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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