dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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