uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
