My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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