fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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