Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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