Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
