Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
