So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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